Secrets of Success

I would tell you that I'm not dead but that line is a little dead at this point. I have started working from home which has put a monkey wrench in my time management. My free time that I use to set aside for blogging is now used for working and all other time is with my children. Of course my husband still poses a problem. I can not blog when he is here.

I received a card in the mail concerning a test I need to take before being admitted into nursing school. I am debating as to that I should do. This is the part I really hate about myself. Whenever I think I have something figured out the doubt creeps back in or my priorities change. I am so non committal to just about everything and I don't know how or why I got this way. When I was a kid I was on swim team. I swam in the winter. I swam in the summer. I swam in the morning and I swam at night. 4 + hours of my day went to swimming for years But now I can't commit to anything. I worked for the same employer for 7 years but now I can't commit to anything.

I have considered nursing numerous times for the course of several years. I think that a person pursing such a field should be passionate about there career. People are expecting a great deal from you both physically and emotionally. But I can not say I am passionate. I considered the field in large because 4 1/2 years ago, when I lost my job I applied for unemployment and was told that I should consider training for nursing or truck driving because those where to two largest and continually growing employment sectors for good ol' Ohio. Nothing against trucking, but its not my cup of tea. I have difficulty keeping my mid sized sedan on the road when it snows- god help me if I were behind the wheel of an 18 wheeler.

I started paying attention to the largest ads in the paper. More often than not they were for trucking or nursing. Not only were they hiring nurses, they were offering 3, 5 in some cases 10k bonuses if a nurse signed on. When I began googling the future prospects of nursing, all fingers point to a impeding nursing shortage due to the aging baby boomers. And I started to think maybe this is what I need to do. They pay well, have good benefits and there is definitely job security. But the fact of the matter is I still cringe when I watch Dr. 90210 or Untold Stories of the ER.

My desire to be a nurse needs to come from something greater than the need for a paycheck. And so I sit here trying to figure out what to do with my life. I want to work from home and I want to find a responsible a way to earn reasonable income. I just haven't figured it out yet. I just know that I do not want to drive 60 miles one way into the city. I don't want to be an hour + away from my kids when they need me.

When I was younger I thought money was everything and it still carries a lot of weight in my life. I have come from an upper middle class household. I know I enjoyed that life far more than the one I am living now( in terms of the $$$), but I am unwilling to make the trade for it. I hate the idea of having my children miss out on soccer and dance so that in exchange they can have all the xbox games they want and are always guaranteed 2 weeks at Disney. Is there a formula to having it all? If so can someone share it with me?