Alone

Jars of Clay lyrics

Work

Just in case
I will leave my things packed
So I can run away
I cannot trust these voices
I don't have a lot of prospects
That can give some kind of peace
There is nothing left to cling to
That can bring me sweet release
I have no fear of drowning
It's the breathing
That's taking all this work
Do you know
What I mean
When I say"I don't wanna be alone"
What I mean
When I say"I don't wanna be alone"
Empty spaces
Shadows hit by streetlights
The warning signs and weight
Of tired conversations
In the absence of a shoulder
In the absence of a thief
On the brink of this destruction
On the eve of bittersweet
Now all the demons look like prophets
And I'm living out
Every word they speak
Every word they speak
Do you know
What I mean
When I say"I don't wanna be alone"
What I mean
When I say"I don't wanna be alone"
I have no fear of drowning
It's the breathing
It's taking all this work

Jars of Clay Website

I keep checking e-mail when I know I shouldn't. I keep hoping there will be something in the "inbox" from Laney. I keep hoping he had something to say to me that wasn't self absorbed. Something that said he had taken two seconds of his day to think about me over the holiday.

I remember right before I got married- there was this nagging feeling that I shouldn't do it. I kept thinking this was not right for me. But then I had all these stupid reasons for why I had to go through with it. The invitations were out. Everyone had been paid -I'd never get the money back. My parents would be embarassed. I'd be embarassed. I'd have nowhere live -we lived together and I obviously would need to find new arrangements :)

But most of all what kept me from walking out on the deal was thinking no one would ever want me. I was too strange, too emotional,too quirky,too flighty, too afraid. I had no idea who I was anymore because there was a time even with all my faults I was strong and determined. I have no idea where that girl went. I haven't seen her for a very long time. And here I am years later checking my inbox and I don't feel much different than I did 10 years ago. I'm looking at that inbox thinking no one will ever want me...