When Did I Stop Being Cool?

I’ve been wondering that a lot lately, because I have always regarded myself as a cool chic. I have been visiting a lot of other blogs and it appears everyone has more interesting lives and far more interesting graphics. Some of the blog directories offer a short description of people far more fascinating than I. Things like liberal, vegan, wiccan dominatrix who writes poetry, does tattooing part-time and is married to a apostolic minister…ya we gotta talk. Or…Hi, I am a 20 something starving actress making a way for herself in the big NYC. Join me as a chronicle my adventures, sexual exploits and the ups and downs of my neurotic gay Latino roommate Rene.

I guess I thought I was cool because of the “I don’t give a shit” attitude I often feel and do my best to convey. I’ve had people say, “ that’s what I love about you, you do whatever you want and you don’t give a damn what other people think- you’re the coolest.”

What about my high school year book?

“To the wildest and craziest….”
“To the coolest girl ever…”
“Stay crazy…”
“2 cool 2 B forgotten…”

All this time I had no idea these assholes were lying to me.

What is with all this crazy crap (no I really want to say shit) with the World of Warcraft, elfin magic, pixie dust create your own virtual identity F%$king garbage??? Ok, that’s horrible of me. And the truth be known, I am lashing out because it is so dreadfully apparent I have lost touch with what all the cool kids do. I don’t have any wild online identities like Mistress of the Dark Knight or Elexia of Gardonia. I’m the one taking pills 2 times a day but somewhere along the way I’ve lost all of my gusto. I am just a twit sitting in front of her computer, eating egg rolls, frustrated, because more often than not I can not figure out how to modify my blog template

I have a MySpace account which boasts TWO friends. TWO I TELL YOU, TWO!!! Is that not the saddest thing you’ve ever heard? And I think those two only contacted me because they were trying to sell me product. If MySpace had been around in say 1990, I know I would have had more than 2 friends.

Okay, I’ll stop with the ramblings. Just know I am going to bed tonight trying to figure out how and when I lost my hi-pro glow.