My Husband Is A Big Dick

My husband is a dick, perhaps the biggest dick whoever lived. I would encourage any woman to gay if she by way of some drug or mental programming is able to.
The other day he brought home flowers and chocolates for me. Of course the last time he did that was when he was having an affair. I had just received a call from my OBGYN telling me I had cervical cancer. Few people realize that cervical cancer is often caused by HPV which also happens to be an STD. You can find out more by clicking this link…
http://www.cdc.gov/std/HPV/STDFact-HPV.htm

Not to go off on a tangent but I love those new HPV commercial where they say over and over again… “Cervical cancer caused by a virus?? I didn’t know that.” Why aren’t all those women saying, “Cervical cancer caused by my husband? I didn’t know that.” It’s a virus you get from a penis, not from sneezing and then shaking hands.

Anyhow, as you can imagine I was a bit distressed at the time but my OBGYN insisted that I could have had the virus for years and it could have been dormant. Lord knows I couldn’t have gotten from my loving husband. He came home, handed me the flowers and then within minutes said, “I don’t love you anymore, I’m in love with someone else.” He then proceeded to tell me he was simply saying that because that is what I wanted from him, a confession. He left the house and spent the night elsewhere. He said he had to think.

I had suspected something was going on. I had for a long time. But there was part of me that did not care. That part of me wanted him to just leave. As luck would have it he would turn over a new I found Jesus leaf, and it wasn’t until nearly a year later that I found out he had been having an affair.

The funny thing is I prayed to God to reveal the truth to me. I told him I needed to decide whether I was going to stay or go. I prayed for this numerous times certain if there was something to find out God would make it known. He sure did. God is such a little smartass. He let me know 3 weeks after I was laid off from my job. And again, I made another stupid, stupid, stupid mistake. I made it out of fear. And everyday I regret it.

I have read innumerable books since then –looking for solutions or action plans on how to live my life without sinking a hatchet in my husband’s back. I have a few of them listed here http://astore.amazon.com/bipolargirl-20 I really enjoy anything by Carolyn Myss. She is not a shrink or anything of the such but she has a way of giving you introspect. She has a website which I visit often www.myss.com. If you navigate through it you will find a visual meditation. I don’t know if it is for everyone. But it helps me.

I should be going to bed, but I’ll be back to bitch later…