I'm the greatest thing I've ever seen....

Back on track....

My husband is textbook NPD. How does one recognize a NPD? Here is a list of some of their many traits.

1. Exaggerated sense of importance. Their employer could not function without them. The house hold would not run without them. They will lead others to believe they do all of the work because others in their life are too incompetent to do what needs to be done.

2. He/she believes they are special. You can not begin to relate to them because you simply do not have the mental capacity to do so. My husband often states he simply "tolerates" everyone else because he has no choice but to co-exist with ineptitude.

3. They are delusional in the sense they believe they can do anything anyone else can do. There is no authority in their lives or anyone whose opinion they might hold in high regard. He would not see a brain surgeon as someone more intelligent than himself but rather someone more privileged than himself.

4. Requires endless admiration. My husband insists on being told he is an excellent provider, a fantastic husband, incredibly good looking on a daily basis. He often asks if my friends comment on my catch and say anything that would lead me to believe they are jealous of my fine husband. You will often find him looking at himself in the mirror. Although he insists on so much, he is the last to give compliments for any reason.

5. My husband feels entitled. He does not believe he should have to wait in line at a bank, restaurant, store etc. If asked to wait he is very vocal as to how much better he is than the rest of the garbage in the establishment, and in fact makes 3 times more money than any other customer or patron. He expects to be treated better. We are if anything middle class, so it increases my embarrassment tenfold when he speaks of his 50k income as if he were millionaire.

6.He lacks empathy for me or any other human being for that matter. He is one of those individuals who is always one upping everyone else. You could tell him you have cancer and he would say something like he wishes he had cancer because instead he had 18 years of living with miserable parents. He much rather be dying than having the horrid memories of his battle axe mother. He has a way of turning any subject matter into a conversation about himself.

I may comment that our neighbor boy is attending a wrestling tournament and somehow the mere mention of this puts my husband in competition with the 17 year old who lives next door. Don't you know he use to wrestle? He was the best wrestler in his class and he could kick our teenage neighbor's ass if he wanted to. I constantly tell him everything is not about him. If I comment on a work of art I do not want to hear him tell me how he could do better. If I say someone has a beautiful voice I don' want to hear how he could sing better. In his mind he could do anything in the world better than anyone else in the world if only he had rich parents who would have paid to send him to a prestigious college.

7. He treats everyone like garbage. I often find myself slowly quietly walking out of restaurants or stores because I am embarrassed by his behavior. He is very vocal, almost always causing a scene. He is an equal opportunist bigot and has no problem verbalizing his hatred towards the human race.

People who I meet, and later meet my husband often remark that they cannot believe I am married to this man. I honestly have no idea how I married this man. I can tell you that this union has eroded my sense of self and self worth.

My independence was not taken from me overnight. It is slow. It is methodical. It is such a burden walking around with two monkeys on your back.